Thursday, December 24, 2009

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to All.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Say Thank You Even When You Don't Feel Like It

Anxiety and depression can make you feel worthless and empty. The toll it takes on your life will often have you asking, "why me?" or "what's the point?" At times like these, all you want is to be left alone. You're tired of explaining to people the way this disease makes you feel--people who won't understand anyway.

Hold up a sec!

As bad as anxiety and depression can make you feel, it's important to remember that the people who care about you are hurting too. The helpless feeling you feel is no greater than the helplessness felt by those who care about you, who despite their very best efforts, are unable to help ease your suffering. In your pain this is often hard to remember, but I urge you to reflect on this daily.

It wasn't until I emerged from my illness that I fully realized the sacrifice made by those close to me. While I finally thanked them for their efforts, it should have been something I did years before.

Selfishness is an ugly side effect of this illness, causing the best of people to retreat inward and close off all contact with friends and family. This may feel right at the time, but one day, when the suffering has ebbed, you are going to regret this course of action. Please, please, please thank those close to you for their intentions and continue to let them in, if not for your sake than for theirs. Later you'll be glad you did.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

I Can't Get My Work Done! Anxiety and Concentration

I have a ton of work to do and I just can't seem to get started. I work as a freelance writer and I have several projects in the cue right now, but on days like these-days I am tormented by nagging anxiety-my work does not come easy.

Ever been there?

I know what needs to get done but my mind feels out of focus and it's difficult to concentrate. Truth be told, this condition would be much easier if it was situational anxiety that was bugging me. If I just knew the trigger, perhaps I could get back to work. The trouble is that I have no idea what's causing this, and that seems to be the major problem.

This ambiguity is what makes anxiety such a horrible condition. This persistent feeling of unease or fright seems to appear out of nowhere and its effects can be downright paralyzing.

Thus far I have tried many techniques to expel or quiet my anxiety. Self-talk, meditation, journaling and exercise helps to some degree, but in no way do I feel "normal" as a result of these methods. I am resisting medication, but soon I may have to look into it. I need something that can help me get back to work.

Any ideas? I'd be glad to hear them.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Sometimes You Just Have To Laugh

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Can My Depression Make Me a Better Person?

As the commercial says, "Depression hurts," but is it possible we can become better people because of it? I contend that we can, but it takes the right attitude and an unshakable faith in a better future. Carrying oneself in a dignified manner, despite the pain we feel while coping with the effects of anxiety and depression, can prepare us for the future we so desperately want. Despite the way we feel we must always remember that we are bigger than than this illness, and in time it will end. And after it does, we are going to have to look ourselves in the mirror and evaluate how we handled our adversity. What image do you want staring back at you?

I wasn't always so confident. Not so long ago I had pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I would be sick forever, and my life would continue to fall apart. I split my time between coping with anxiety and depression, sometimes both, and I wore my misery on my sleeve for everyone to see. If I was going to be miserable I was going to make damn sure that the "healthy"people around me were miserable too. I threw a world class pity party, and I was the guest of honor.

One day that changed. My father, with whom I was not close at the time, came to see me and it just so happened that he picked one of my worst days. I began with all the familiar lamentations of how I was suffering, all of which he listened to patiently. When I was finished he calmly asked, "What can I do to help?" That question caught me off guard, and after pondering it I realized there was nothing he could do, and I responded in kind. He then said, "If there's nothing I can do, why are you so intent on constantly complaining every time I see you? What good has ever come from complaining about how you feel? Can't you see that the only effect it has is to make all of those around you miserable? Is that your goal?"

I was speechless, and he was right! All this bitching and moaning was repelling everyone I loved. They couldn't stand to be around me, and that made me feel even worse. What exactly was I hoping to accomplish by making everyone around me miserable?

Before my Father left he said, "Your life is going to be judged on what you do from here. Let go of the past, learn from it but let go."

I can't say that this advice totally cured me from my complaining addiction, but I did admit I had a problem and have since lived quite differently. I still have symptoms from time to time, but I don't feel the need to let everyone know. When I do suffer, I suffer with dignity and this has made a huge difference in the way I feel.