Thursday, June 25, 2009

What will people think?

Don't worry about what others will think! That statement has become cliche, an old standby for motivation, but how many people actually live that motto? Ask yourself, how many actions have you failed to take in your life, fearing what other people may think? My guess is there are quite a few, probably too many to count. You're not alone though, many of us have missed great opportunities fretting over how we might be perceived. We get so wrapped up in every possible negative scenario, that we fail to see the obvious "silver lining" in things. For some reason, not acting feels safer than the alternative. Later, we lament to anyone in earshot, about how stagnant our lives are and about all the lost opportunities in our lives. It's an awful cycle but one that can become habitual very easily.

Fear of the way we are perceived can be a major impediment to growth. Many of us become paralyzed to action because we're afraid of the way it will look to others, but this paralysis is completely unwarranted. The majority of people-those same people we worry about-are far too concerned about themselves and their own issues to even notice what we're doing. If you think about it, concern over the way we are perceived is rather egotistical.

Now there are people who care about you, and thus have a vested stake in the decisions you make, but why in the world would you worry about their perceptions? They are the people who want you to succeed and will unfailingly root for you regardless of the outcome of the decisions you make. They are your support team, people who will be there for you through good and bad. Count yourself lucky for having them in your corner. The rest of the world, however, is too wrapped up in their own daily grind to have time to ponder yours.

I have been guilty of inaction in the past, agonizing on the way it may look to others. Sadly, that is time I can never get back, but hopefully, by sharing this epiphany with you, I can at least make it count for something. If you're honest with yourself, you'll probably agree that at least 95% of the thoughts you entertain are of a self-centered nature. We think about ourselves, and that my friends, is perfectly normal. The remainder of our thoughts are probably spent worrying or celebrating the ones we love. But how much time do you spend thinking about John Doe's life. The answer is probably none, except for how John Doe's life may effect your own or your loved ones. That being said, why would you assume that John Doe has time to pine over you?

He doesn't. Isn't that a tremendous relief? His only thoughts, in regard to your life, is how your success or failure will impact him.

Take a talented ballplayer, just up from college, an absolute star in his collegiate days. In his first year at the Major League level, he finds himself on the bench, playing second fiddle to a perennial all-star. This doesn't sit well with him at all. He is accustomed to being the star, and his new role of bench warmer is not exactly what he had envisioned. He wants secure the starting position, but he's hampered by thoughts of how the fans will take it.

Does he want this allstar--his competition--to fail? Probably, but not because he dislikes that person. His only thought is how that failure may positively benefit him. Now I'm not saying this a healthy way to think, but I will say it's natural. But here's why I brought that up: If you decide not to act towards growth and excellence in your life, there will always be someone else who has figured out it's best to act. Your inaction could be just what John Doe was waiting for.

Planning and preparation are important tools for success, but they are worthless if we fail to act when given the opportunity. The people we recognize as great, the ones we admire, are the ones that made a decision to act, some in the face of great public scrutiny. When the astronomer Copernicus tried to convince the world that the earth revolved around the sun, his views met with grave debate from a scientific community that believed the opposite. But he was right, and the rest is history. But what if he would have been wrong? Okay, so he was wrong. What did he really lose by deciding to act on his theory? Nothing. He'd still be the same old Copernicus. His decision to act, though, changed not only his own life, but the world's.

The only negative thing that can happen as a result of a new decision, is that it may not quite work out the way you had imagined. But what have you really lost? The worst case scenario is that you'll be back to square one, ready to make a another decision and act upon it. Believe me, there is a not a swarm of people stroking their moustache, ready to pass judgement or belittle you. You're not that important to them, and they just don't have time!


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